WANT A PREVIEW IN SPACE DO YOU HEAR ME! AND AN OOPS-BUTTON TOO!

October 14th, 2007

This was written to the original Windows Live Space Blog, and is about Windows Live Spaces too!

As I am in speed so here is more. Space is filled with all kinds of things - press this, accept this, deny that - but there is not any change to preview what I am doing. I press a button by mistake and realize it firs when I have done it and then there is no OOOOOPS-button and the offensive messsage - style, I won't accept your inquiry, go away - has already gone. I need that preview because I don't want to offend people; and I want that ooops-button too! WANT!

Problems in the net

My blog in Windows Live Spaces has obviously been speaking Finnish to each and every one without me knowing about it. I heard it today as one of my friends would have liked to read my latest script about Fred Vargas but could not. On the other side of the globe, she did not know which one of those Finnish-speaking buttons to press! If it has been speaking Finnish to all so why hasn't anyone said a word before? I asked another friend of mine to check and he was kind enough to do so so now I know. Like my msn: it was only one of my friends who was persistent in that it did not work - others i believe just tried and thought whatever since it did not work and gave up. What people! But perhaps it was only this one who was sure I would not leave a contact unreplied and in his case it is also true.

So THANK YOU TO ALL WHO HAVE INTERFERED ACTIVELY WITH THESE PROBLEMS! Chat engines can translate announcements... my friend in England writes "Lunch" in his engine and I get "Lounaalla" (the same in Finnish) in mine under his name and I am sure he does not type it in Finnish... anyway, big Microsoft cannot do the translating or changing of language of the viewed page (even the settings) according to where it is viewed although it would be completely possible! What is even more ridiculous is that obviously I can't change the language. The instructions tell to change the language of the Internet Explorer browser. The problem is that I don't use it, I use Firefox. And it is in English. And even though I change to Internet Explorer and do as instructed it does not change the language anyway. So Microsoft should be rewarded with the prize of promoting Finnish language I suppose... Just think of it: free Gmail allows you to change languages yourself, and it is even easy.... Microsoft does not.... and it is neither free nor easy.... I have the feeling that the computing geniuses sit somewhere else than in Microsoft's planning offices.... (wonder if I get even more problems when passing on text like this????????)

Fred Vargas

Finished two of Fred Vargas', a French author's books. These were called Kuriton mies nurin (L'Homme á l'envers, published in French 1999), and Sinisten ympyröiden mies (L'Homme aux cercles bleus, published in French 1996). It is interesting that first about 10 years after they were published in France, they have been translated into Finnish.

I got fascinated with Fred Vargas when I read one of his other books, also sort of a detective story like these two are too. I got fascinated because I am a humanist and in his books, problems are solved - not technologically, not with cold brain, not with massive police force, but with humanistic knowledge about culture and cultural history, and with humanistic intelligence. What also fascinates me is how Vargas uses myths related to faith; how he uses the Bible and names and occasions and people from the Bible to tell more than he actually tells verbally. This bondage with the faith-cultural heritage is something he uses I think very well and in an enjoyable way. Like in L'Homme á l'envers: there is the "virgin" (who also displays as Eve) - the shephard - like Jesus Christ, knowing what is going on and saving people in the last moment.... he is like an observer otherwise, almost an old, mythological one that is drawn from place to place by the other company...... anyway, much like how people these days take faith, and Jesus Christ too. They are drawn with us, turned to when in trouble, and then almost forgotten - but always there. And then there is that investigator, Jean-Baptiste Adamsberg, whose entire name is a mixture of biblical names and contexts: Jean- Baptiste (John the Baptizer - he even likes isolation in the "desert" like the John in the Bible did) Adamsberg (the mountain of Adam) - so there he goes to the beginning of humanity......... I feel that in Vargas' books, there are two stories: one is the one told in the text, and another one is the one hidden in the text, maybe even more enjoyable than the eventual story. Then there is always something enjoyably irrational; like here, an adoptive child somewhere from Africa, telling incredible stories that he has mostly finds out himself - that have no beginning and no end and no sense either and that some people take as such and some get annoyed of when listening tot hem but no one really cares except I think if they were missing. And anyway he is performing tasks that no one else could do. It is such a wonderful combination... like the discourse is too, and the conversations between people. It feels as though the way to the goal would actually be more important than the goal.

Sophisticated might I think be the word to describe Vargas' way of writing. And it is enjoyable.

I recommend - with the restriction that it is not ordinary crime novels but something that might need a humanistic attitude to be enjoyed. Someone who looks after "action" will perhaps be disappointed.

9:19

Happy Aid / Eid!

October 12th, 2007

To whom it may concern:

Happy Aid / Eid !

Back to work of course!

October 10th, 2007

I am back to work again of course. I won't let such rascals jump on my nose, frighten me and keep me away from work. I have always thought I am serving people, the society when working here... and I shall be doing that... no matter how bad I feel now. Those rascals won't control me. In the end, democracy and society is going to control them! If someone is going to shoot me for doing my duty here in life so I would not be the first - and so what.

Anyway today I have got such wonderful expressions of support, care and worry that it is making me cry...

There are people here who really love me and who have come to show it...

My goodness... God bless them all...

Next day

October 10th, 2007

There was such a number of ambulances coming and going yesterday that it seemed there had been a mass slaughtery due to the shootingin a near-by house to my office, where many of my colleagues work. But it was not that bad - most of them were to a car accident - that, too, caused by a drug misuser just like the shooting.

I am cold all over like I felt cold at night too... I cry or if I don't, at least I try not to... I am not in balance at all... still... I am not going to postpone anything for that. Problems only cumulate with undone work that remains undone. But I also feel completely out of strength somehow. So it is just to collect myself and go to work although late today because I will have a meeting this evening and all night and all morning I have been telling myself that I won't change anything for that shooting... and I usually go to work later if I have meeting in the evening. I have realized I cannot concentrate there anymore like I should if I first have an over-length working day behind myself and then try to manage the meeting still...

I try so very much to reason and to assure to myself that I know everything that is happening in me, that I understand it all... so I think I just try to hide it somehow... how it really feels. I feel there is a huge loneliness in me that nothing can ease. I can't stand the thought that a colleague of mine has had that gunman in his room... in the middle of his working day... it feels just as if he'd been in my room... with what I don't mean to underestimate how he may feel now, he must feel really awful and I may have no idea of it. And in an odd way - I even feel I have no RIGHT to feel shocked, or to be in shock because I was not threatened personally. Someone else was. But to me it feels as a collective: one municipal worker is like another one, so it is just coincidence who it is... and we have talked about it in my working place even before ... if someone comes to the house and wants to shoot someone, it is either me or my secretary he realizes first. The first rooms you usually pass, you don't notice them... by my room you start to hesitate, and if not there, then you stop by my secretary's room to ask for a way...

Once we had an insane woman in the house late in the evening. First I thought I was there alone with her, and she was talking and behaving oddly, and I thought she might have a knife or something in her bag... then two other employees turned out, and then two of us were trying to find a way to get her out of there and one was keeping her occupied by talking and talking and talking.... which I had been doing since she came in - let through the locked doors by someone who left late... we phoned several places... we dared not call the police because she said she won't go with them... we dared not call ambulance because she said she would not go with them either... so we did a lot of phoning and finally found her son who promised to come and collect her... except that she was convinced that her son was dead... anyway he took her away finally but afterwards I was thinking that we have none whatsoever training for such situations... or any situations... all I did was - I used my instinct and normal sense... and that time it worked, together with brain work to find a way out, get her away. So up till now, it has not been so bad. But it seems to be getting wilder all the time.

Goes on and on

October 8th, 2007

The wonderful thing about blogs is that I may write what I do, think and feel, and in case I would be absent for someone it is possible that here my news are to be seen anyway - but no one ever has to read this. So it is not my responsibility, it is the reader's - whether one wants to know or not. Because I don't tell all miserabilities in e-mails - e-mails are my responsibility somehow.

Was to lab today. I have been postponing and postponing it... because I don't want to know the results. I thought this little harmless painful disaster of a disorder (rheuma) would not kill me. I thought it was not life-threatening. Now anyway my doctor suspects it is causing severe things here and there in my body... I know I live with it all the time but I don't want to think about it. And odd or not, it has felt that as long as I don't have the tests taken, I don't have to think about it.

Now anyway I had them taken and all right.... it has not been any good day - all the miserabilities this disorder can cause but then - I was shopping after work and when I came out .... what I saw was nearest awful for my condition - a landscape completely darkened by thick rain clouds - and heavy rain just about starting... suddenly I decided not to die just yet! That is a joke of course - but anyway it is incredible how most awful things can make you feel good. Get some psych-something to explain it, I can't - to me it is just funny and very handy.

I was asked what I will do with all that time now that I have finished the "big" (haha) writing work. What time? Looking at this week's schedule.... where is the Time? So... all goes its usual way, I rush from one thing to another... and somehow, in a strange way, even feel good about it. Don't have to think or explain to anyone so much about how I am or how I feel.

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