Quitting Lyrica

Today, I have taken the last tablet of Lyrica. From tomorrow, I am off that medicine! It feels good, really really good! It almost took my life but the status of asthma has stabilized now - although it is not yet perfectly good (it takes time) but it is so much better anyway! It feels like a triumph to finally be in this state! My last day on Lyrica, woooow!!!!

It has been a slow process, quitting that medication, as it has been reduced by and by. Pain is back but usually not too bad to tolerate, and anyway I have been able to use quite strong pain killers that do not trigger asthma. They are not very many though or so it seems. One which was very good resulted in more than one doctor telling me that it can cause heart attacks, so I quitted that too.

What is bothering me most these days is fibro fog - I have it to some extend almost every day and it seems to be somewhere between me and the world. And the other thing that bothers is stiffness. Otherwise I am so much better than before..

I have been in a really bad state due to medication. I hope and pray I don't need to wittness anything like that anymore.

Cymbalta

Cymbalta is now tried on side of Lyrica which has been reduced and will be cut off completely.

Life with Cymbalta is not easy either. I was checking the list of side effects to see how many of my new oddities are explained by the known side effects of Cymbalta.

Not few. Or what do you think:

*Headache. (I have had that sort of almost incontinuous head ache which I have never had before. This feels very sharp, completely different from before.)

*Tiredness, problems sleeping, bad quaqlity of sleeping. I can sleep 2 - 3 hours per night.

*Added yawning. (Of course, because I don't sleep enough. I don't feel sleepy but even so, I have today been yawning my jaws off.)

*Feeling sick. Yep. 7 kg gone just like that. This side effect I could even keep since thanks to Lyrica, I have a lot to lose in weight.

*Tinnitus. I have it even from before, it is continuous and never stops for a second but now I hear it much louder than before.

*Eczem. It seems I have nothing in my stomach skin other than scarves from pregnancies and a very thin skin but i have been scratching it like a maniac since it feels so itchy - and now applying body lotions too.

*Cold fingers and toes. Yep. Definitely.

*Cold sweat.

*Shaky muscles. Today I felt my legs would not carry me. It went by pretty soon but anyway... not a nice feeling.

And all this I have now, when I am taking the minimum dose. What if it gets doubled, because it is not working at its fullest now? Will it add on the effect of the side effects too?

And what if there is no medication? What if there is pain and no medication?

Celecoxib has helped tame the overflow of pain when the basic medication has not been enough, but I stopped taking it when my asthma doctor told me it has caused heart attacks.

About asthma, my asthma doctor was satisfied that I had found the reason for the worsening symptoms and had been able to prove and eliminate them. Now I can move again, which has not been the case for long since I ahve been suffocating.

On Friday and Saturday I have been out, walking, gardening... I must go on with it, it is something I can do to my burn out symptoms, to prevent them.

I have a dream. I want to get rid of medication. Perhaps not overnight but anyway. I don't want to constantly worry about side effects and safety. During the past one year or so I have quitted three medicines that have been life-threatening - to me, or to someone else. Lyrica was life-threatening to me because of asthma. The two others have been drawn out of market.

But I should also remain able to work, live and love as normally as possible. And I am NOT willing to start trying all kinds of possible aids and healings the world and market is full of. It would be an endless trying and disappointing, like it has been with medication. But there is a jungle of all kinds of healers and products, aiming to profit from the need to make life tolerable.

I feel more than confused. But so far, I have a dream at least.

So much to be happy for

I got flowers from my wonderful Dear Husband yesterday. Ohh how good it feels! It is so lovely when after a crash like that which I had, also good things happen. This is above all of course.

But also, a work mate of mine paid attention and commented my looks: I had dressed in matching tones - shirt, jacket, hair accessories - and she said I had so wonderful colours. It felt good.

Then, a friend to my late brother called and said he'd like to meet. He had other things to tell too but this felt the best of them all, plus that he offered to help with a practical thing at hand.

A friend of mine said she would be praying for my complete recovery so that I'd not need any medication at all. That was after she read my blog and saw how horrible life with meds can be. I have had really awful experiences lately. I am happy I have not been killed by them. I feel so encouraged by her prayers.

A distant friend did not give up when he did not find me in MSN. He wrote an email to me, asking what has happened. We had a long and wonderful discussion this evening.

I have been able to go for a walk. I have been able to do gardening today. I think I was out for two hours or so, all the time doing something. Wooow it feels great! I am so happy of it, although it always hurts my broken toe. Perhaps I have that toe so that I would understand to pace myself, not to try too much.

I feel so good of the sunlight.

And I don't feel sick anymore, every time I try to eat.

Lots of things to be happy for!