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Via Make a Note: "Let nothing upset you, let nothing startle you. All things pass; God
does not change. Patience wins all it seeks. Whoever has God lacks
nothing; God alone is enough." --St Teresa Avila (1515-1582).
Monday, September 27, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Sept 25th 2010 - Bad News, But Life Goes On!
Bad news, but life goes on!
by Ugri Fenno on Saturday, September 25, 2010 at 3:21pm
I have been to the surgeon. She punctured the hard odd thing which appeared to be tissue fluid; now it is away and I feel easier, at least for the time being. She said it is perfectly normal to get it, so I haven't done anything wrong. Also the extra bleeding was perfectly normal, but all the blood had already been transported away by body's own declutterers.
Then there were not-so-good news too: Unlike previously supposed, the tumor is, or was, of a very aggressive sort, the worst of them all. Surgery had succeeded 100 % and they seem to think that was it - nothing else found in the breast, and not in the lymph nodes either, though only the two first lymph nodes were taken away and had a closer look at (the first where the vandering cancer cells would go to after having departed from the main tumor). It is still reasonable to suppose that although it was so very aggressive, it probably has not sent anything in other parts of the body. I feel healthy anyway - completely unlike prior to the surgery.
But no one really knows when it is cancer. I have been invited to the onchological policlinic in the central hospital to agree about the treatment plan. It will be chemotherapy first, then radial therapy, because this is much more serious than what it first seemed to be. The tumor is hormone negative, so (thanks God!) no hormone therapy will be needed. (Which means that it is also less easy to treat it of course.) But I have been told yesyerday that they are doing some research and that they are perhaps asking if I'd like to participate - which would mean still some more medication - but of this I don't know anything else yet.
So I didn't get a nice enemy, but the worst of them all. I realize I don't care for myself so much (though of course I'd love to stay alive!) but I will do all I can to be here as long as I can - because of my loved ones who mean everything to me.
I hope to remain happy and positive though - anyway, today I feel fine and I am very much alive - worries are for tomorrow. Just that it is time to start taking this beast seriously! :D
Today it feels that the tissue fluis is filling up again... I HATE IT! I REALLY DO! Puncturing does not even hurt or anything but I hate it still. WHY CANNOT IT JUST BEHAVE!!!!
by Ugri Fenno on Saturday, September 25, 2010 at 3:21pm
I have been to the surgeon. She punctured the hard odd thing which appeared to be tissue fluid; now it is away and I feel easier, at least for the time being. She said it is perfectly normal to get it, so I haven't done anything wrong. Also the extra bleeding was perfectly normal, but all the blood had already been transported away by body's own declutterers.
Then there were not-so-good news too: Unlike previously supposed, the tumor is, or was, of a very aggressive sort, the worst of them all. Surgery had succeeded 100 % and they seem to think that was it - nothing else found in the breast, and not in the lymph nodes either, though only the two first lymph nodes were taken away and had a closer look at (the first where the vandering cancer cells would go to after having departed from the main tumor). It is still reasonable to suppose that although it was so very aggressive, it probably has not sent anything in other parts of the body. I feel healthy anyway - completely unlike prior to the surgery.
But no one really knows when it is cancer. I have been invited to the onchological policlinic in the central hospital to agree about the treatment plan. It will be chemotherapy first, then radial therapy, because this is much more serious than what it first seemed to be. The tumor is hormone negative, so (thanks God!) no hormone therapy will be needed. (Which means that it is also less easy to treat it of course.) But I have been told yesyerday that they are doing some research and that they are perhaps asking if I'd like to participate - which would mean still some more medication - but of this I don't know anything else yet.
So I didn't get a nice enemy, but the worst of them all. I realize I don't care for myself so much (though of course I'd love to stay alive!) but I will do all I can to be here as long as I can - because of my loved ones who mean everything to me.
I hope to remain happy and positive though - anyway, today I feel fine and I am very much alive - worries are for tomorrow. Just that it is time to start taking this beast seriously! :D
Today it feels that the tissue fluis is filling up again... I HATE IT! I REALLY DO! Puncturing does not even hurt or anything but I hate it still. WHY CANNOT IT JUST BEHAVE!!!!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Wednesday September 22nd
Sometimes silence is golden, and sometimes it just means I am resting. I am taki...ng some much needed time to rest and restore. I hope you always remember to do the same for yourself. Be back soon! (FibroHaven in Facebook. And I wrote of myself:)
Me too! I wish people would understand what I am going through. It is not easy by any means, especially with these complications which are making my legs spaghetti. Now people come with their demands and needs... but I don't care so much anymore. I am learning - thoough it is hard - to put myself first. Very selfish - and very necessary when you are seriously ill. Quote from MArilyn Monroe: if you cannot take me when I'm not okey, you don't deserve me when I am on my best!
Received an invitation to the onchological policlinic in the central hospital, it will be on the 7th of October. That policlinic takes care of radial and chemotherapy for cancer patients. I have already been there once, to see the breast cancer nurse, but that was just shortly. I don't know why but it feels sad to receive the invitation although I knew it was coming. It just means that another weary part of the treatment is about to start. I can see now why they talk about being brave, in connection to breast cancer. Among other things of course. Maybe it is that the invitation reminded me of that it is a disease that actually can cause death.
Me too! I wish people would understand what I am going through. It is not easy by any means, especially with these complications which are making my legs spaghetti. Now people come with their demands and needs... but I don't care so much anymore. I am learning - thoough it is hard - to put myself first. Very selfish - and very necessary when you are seriously ill. Quote from MArilyn Monroe: if you cannot take me when I'm not okey, you don't deserve me when I am on my best!
Received an invitation to the onchological policlinic in the central hospital, it will be on the 7th of October. That policlinic takes care of radial and chemotherapy for cancer patients. I have already been there once, to see the breast cancer nurse, but that was just shortly. I don't know why but it feels sad to receive the invitation although I knew it was coming. It just means that another weary part of the treatment is about to start. I can see now why they talk about being brave, in connection to breast cancer. Among other things of course. Maybe it is that the invitation reminded me of that it is a disease that actually can cause death.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
September 20th, 2010
Got more bed rest due to infection in the operated area. Got awfully sore and achy all over and thought it was fibromyalgia; then realized it was my temperature rising. Went to doctor, and now I am on antibiotics again, and really exhausted. – 1 päivä sitten – välittäjänä Facebook
September 19th, part 2
has had a whole-pain day today. Every single muscle and joint is aching. Managed to get myself and my hair washed though, applied even cream on face and brushed teeth - had brunch - reloaded the washing machine a few times. Finished Leena Lehtolainen's novel. Tried to organize desk but lost tools immediately... had 2 hours rest.... anyway, pretty well done in a day like this! :) – 2 päivää sitten – välittäjänä Facebook
September 19th, 2010
Got hooked: Leena Lehtolainen's new novel "Minne tytöt kadonneet" is something I find almost impossible to let out of my hands. Leena Lehtolainen is a Finnish author who has been translated to many languages. This new one tells about disappearing girls, it has just been published in Finnish. – 2 päivää sitten – välittäjänä Facebook
September 15th, 2010
Been to lung policlinic today in the central hospital. Routine check, nothing else. After that, had lunch in my own company, then drove to an art museum, spent time exploring two exhibitions and found out interesting things... then got completely wet in rain storm when walking to the car. Loved to spend the day in my own company. – 6 päivää sitten – välittäjänä Facebook
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