Birthday contemplating

I am celebrating my 52nd birthday tomorrow. I am happy of all congratulations I have received here, and elsewhere. I love birthdays, they are an essential part of my culture and my upbringing and also of my family life. We are a family of five, and our birthday celebration starts with my birthday in July, and is continues by one birthday each month up till November when it is my husband's birthday. Or, actually, it continues to the birthday celebration of Lord Jesus Christ, our Savior, at Christmas. Because of Him. we can celebrate our birthdays too.

Getting older and gaining more years is something we tend to take for granted - until it is not granted anymore.

My father died before he ever saw his 52nd birthday. Three months before he'd have been 52, he was dead, and his life was over. My only brother died two years ago shortly after his 42nd birthday. Both my elder sister and my elder brother died as infants. One of my own children never saw life. In many countries of the world the life time expectancy is gone long before 52. I consider myself really lucky and really happy and really privileged to have lived up to this age. It is worth celebrating, and it is a reason to be grateful of.

This time, I have much more reason to be grateful and celebrate to the fullest because I have overlived a hard year. I have been seriously ill for a long time, and I have only just and only slightly recovered. I am not even completely well yet, and I don't know if I will ever be, but I am alive. My doctor said to me at one point during the past year that I was going to lose my life. I knew it was so, but I was not able to do anything else than pray, and wait, and trust that if there still is something for me to accomplish in this world, I will survive. I did, and I am most grateful of each new day when I wake up and am able to go to work. My heart is filled with joy when I can breathe, and I am happy - really happy - when I climb into the car, stiff, and achy, and in great pain, sometimes even out of breath, and swetty from the struggle all morning routines have been to me - because I know that once in the car, the worst is over, the rest of the day will be easier. My life is filled with pain that drives me crazy sometimes but still I am happy I get older and get more life experience, more happy moments to share with those who are really there.

This special day I am incredibly happy of everyone who realizes that birthday is a special day for me. It is very special for the simple reason that I am alive. Life is a gift. It is worth celebrating each year - it would be worth celebrating each and every day. Life lived like me, surrounded by a loving and caring family and amazing, fantastic friends both on- and offline, is so much more than many of us can hope for that I have all the reason to give thanks to the Lord, and also to all of you who are part of my life. Thank you for being there, and thank you for celebrating with me! I love you!

With all my heart,

"Fenno"