Depressed, happy, depressed....

No matter how I reason and try to be brave, I cannot help feeling depressed about having to be on steroids again - and looking out of the window and knowing that without special equipment, the out-door air would kill me. Have been shopping with my daughters today and I feel good that I can do it, that I still have income and can take care of their needs, and mine, and my husband's... Lots of wonderful things have happened today and yesterday and I want to say thanks to all of you who recognize yourselves here. You make the difference in my life. Yet there are people who seem to think that I cannot see through lies, and that I don't recognize indifferent attitude when I face one, even if it is masked. That I am ill does not mean that I am an idiot, or somehow immune to indifference. I am not. I could even tell I am nore sensitive than normally, recognize more nuances than I normally do. I pay attention to both good and bad things, and feel deeper about both. Perhaps this disease and this difficult situation was given to me to be able to see clearly - to be able to see who is the real friend and who is ready to let me down, for whatever reason.