Managing the daily walk is really challenging these days when fibro makes muscles stiff - but so far it has been half an hour each day, and the weather has been really fine so I think after all I feel great about the walks - I feel that I HAVE TO go and walk to feel that it is me who is in charge of my life and doings, NOT fibro, NOT cancer...

Even a longer walk today! :)

Struggling to get more fit

Had a remarkably better day today than the snow storm day was yesterday. I had my tooth repaired - a piece of it had gone missing, now it is whole again - and I started motioning again, because my asthma specialist said that I could. I had the thermal mask on and yet I coughed after having walked for just a short while. I had taken the attack medicine in beforehand, yet after having walked half of the distance, walking started to succeed without immense shortness of breath and an incredible stiffness in legs (since there was not enough oxygen). Still it was by no means normal walking. I don't know how long it will take but I really have to concentrate in my efforts to get more fit now. I don't even know if it is possible, and to which degree, but I must do my best. Both asthma and fibromyalgia make it difficult and they even work together to add on each other's harmful effects, but I still have to try to overcome this really bad and weak physical state.

I have been able to cut my edible cortizone in half, finally! That is really good news - it is a very harmful medicine which anyway has been necessary to maintain breathing and to treat the lungs while the infection has been as worst. My doctor told me to take calcium supplements in order to prevent possible damage to bones. My bones have been scanned and they have been in excellent condition; they should rather stay that way too.

Otherwise there is tons of new snow everywhere but the country just keeps going. Workers have been ploughing snow all through yesterday, last night and today, and you could ask, "What snow storm?" Everything is cleaned, roads are open, no school days or working days were canceled, we have electricity, shops are open... my respect to those who have made all this possible!

Today was a sunny day, really a lot of light when it was reflecting from the white snow all over!

At home, my husband and my older daughter did the shoveling of the snow. How wonderful to have such family members!

Daytime walking

Nowadays it is already dark when I get home from work. I have for long already wanted to take it as a habit to go for a walk every day by noon. It is light then, and I can get fresh air and sunshine and get in a better condition and get evergy for the rest of the day. After I had my asthma control and heard that everything was fine except of an excess of mucus, I could start moving again. So far I have managed going out each and every day. Sometimes it has been difficult to slip out of the door due to customers coming in (lol) but I have gone when I have got their issues solved. Also today: it was raining and storming heavily in the morning but it stopped raining till my lunch hour. And when I got out, even the sun showed a glimpse of itself through the clouds. I did not get wet at all, and I could have a nice walk and enjoy feeling worth it. Sometimes it feels very painful but I do it anyway. Sometimes I am not sure if I can make it back but so far I have always been able to. It always makes me stiff but I persistently hope that it will get easier when I get used to it. I hope and pray that I will stay healthy so I can go on with it.

The morning storm is coming back, I can feel it. It is squeezing my shoulders and causing severe pain in arms and hands and fingers. I hope I can keep my ability to think and work though, it is about important things these days anyway.

Going forward

It has been minusdegrees in the two previous nights. It is a crispy feeling in the air, weather is chilly but sunny - it is just wonderful out there.

Yesterday I talked about my situation, to a colleague, to one of my best friends and my confident, and to my husband. Then I decided it was time I do something for myself and to the situation.

Yesterday all I ate during the day was a coffee and a bun, as I was invited to coffee by my colleague. I decided it was time I start seeing to that I eat properly. I have just been rushing between home and work and everything else has been set aside. I also decided I need to motion more. And I need to cut the stressy working day somehow.

I took a proper meal with me today when I came to work. I also went via the bakery and purchased a cake for the coffee, and brought it here to delight me and my colleagues during the coffee break. And I took 20 minutes in the middle of the day and went out to have a walk in the wonderful, bright sunlight, in the middle of the falling autumn leaves... I concentrated in thinking that I am worth it, till I had got out and was really walking and enjoying the weather and the light and the beauty... just what I need. I need to see that I am the most important thing in my life. If I neglect myself, all else goes with it. (This was no religious argument, God comes above everything of course.) I have been on my way to burn-out - I got a warning yesterday and I have to do something to it before it takes me.

By the way, I noticed that I have not been out with anyone for a long time, anyone else than family and husband I mean. I enjoyed the coffee with my colleague, and I enjoyed being opened the door for, and being escorted in the stairs, and all that. Should do it more often really!

Now it is week-end coming. Usually my week-ends have been spent by rushing from one undone household chore to another, since so much remains undone during the week. This time I must take care of myself too. I must go out and enjoy the weather and the sun, I must get motion, I must get light, and I must eat. I must keep on telling myself that I am worth it, till I believe.

It is time to leave office and head to the shop and then home. I need this week-end of not-having-to-go-anywhere. I hope you enjoy your week-end too!