Changes in the mood

I was reading through my previous post. Those mood problems and feelings of an outsider seemed to pass so that when I was seeing my doctor the day before yesterday I told her that I thought they were history. Well they are not. I started to feel bad again yesterday. I simply feel unhappy and extra loaded by all diseases and I cannot understand how anyone can be in this state... It is ridiculous that I am feeling bad and isolated and alone when yesterday I had my phones ringing all the time and a continuous flood of sms:s and I had chat converstaions and .... my husband was on a business tour but he contacted several times during the day and how many times did he tell me that he loved me... in each and every message and every phone call and in the evening every time he popped in in between all that he was doing... I was NOT alone, the discussions were good and between close friends, not just indifferent talking.... everybody who is important to me was present in my life yesterday.... and in the middle of all that HUGE social life I feel lonely, left alone, outsider. In my sense I know it is not a feeling based by facts, and my sensible self keeps telling me that I am NOT lonely and I am not left alone or anything by anyone.... I am not even rejected because my friend has been explaining her behavior and contacting several times after I got hurt and I understand now it has nothing to do with me.... and still this feeling persists. Today I woke up with a basically unhappy feeling, and when my husband woked up to see me out - he starts my car, he carries my bags and handbag and everything... he ran upstairs for me and took down my cell phones that I had left there... he is so kind and does so many amazing things for me, and even more than so - he has done so all these 20 years... when he performs like a saint (a friend of mine called him that, knowing all that he does) I feel nobody loves me, nobody cares for me... I have no reason whatsoever to feel like I do, and it is not typical for me either. I am not used in having good days and bad days, I have had basically good days and days have been pretty even, according to my level of happiness or whatever. Now they are not. And this feeling, when I am unhappy... I start the day crying although everything is fine... an empty, indifferent, useless, non-existent feeling. Horrible.

This is not healthy. This is certainly a warning sign and I must watch it. I must read the instructions of Cymbalta really well again, and then discuss with my husband about what to do. I cannot stand this out. I can stand the good days but the bad days drive me to insanity.