An angry and human medical experiment "rabbit"

I feel like a rabbit in medical experiments. I am really really frustrated. All else is in control but pain is ruining my life, my health, whatever. Last drop has been this experiment with Lyrica. It was about to take my life. I have been suffering for an entire year about severe consequences which we now think have been a complication caused by this medicine. Some of them have been listed in the "official" side effects but some are surprising. Anyway I am the one who takes it all, it is my body they are messing up, it is me..... indeed me..... who am now struggling with everything I have to fix after that..... I am so angry.... I am so frustrated.... This disease has robbed me of my self-control and my dignity... it has made me submit to all these tests and all experimenting with medication.... it has made me take life-threatening meds because in the end, when it gets really bad, I cannot take it and I don't really care much what the relief is only it comes. I had to do something and I have no boxing bag to deal with my aggressions, so I have been screaming... really screaming aloud when I came home, and then I started to make a collage about my ekg... a perfectly healthy one but also that, and x-rays, and heaven knows what more, were taken to find out if I had heart failure... I cannot describe my feelings.... good of course that nothing is wrong and a real miracle that I have even managed to heal from something here in between, while all this mess has been going on in my body... ohhhhh shit I hate this all, I really do....