Flare

December 13th, 2007

Having a flare. Those with FMS know what I am talking about. Incredible pain and ache all over - seemingly not to be eased by any kind of pain killers. Took a coctail of them - all prescription meds - at 4 a.m. and thought it would get me going by the morning but it did not - I see no difference which means that either they do not hit the point - or then the intensity of the pain has increased all the time.

For some time - a couple of days - I had sort of an "aura" telling this would be coming, but it was so unlike the usual brain fog that I could not interpret it. I knew and felt something was wrong with me but I did not know what it was. Usually that brain fog lasts for a short time, a couple of hours max, and then comes the flare, and during the brain fog I can't find words, can't communicate properly, may forget simpliest things - but when the pain comes, the fog goes. Now it was different: I felt I was like a string that was about to split off, or break. A friend of mine said he saw I was angry or really nervous. I was. And it lasted for DAYS! Then I felt the tension went to muscles... though stiff muscles are just part of the flare. And now at night came the intensive pain. I had to give up. I did not go to work today. I was happy I had no appointments for today. Couldn't start the car... Can't hold a key in my hands, not to talk about driving - all know that driving of mine: 1 hour+ to work, another+ back...

How after 12 years with this disorder, it still can surprise me!

Not a dull life ----- ?