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Sunday, August 30, 2009

Welcome

Hi, and a heartly welcome to old and new followers! Happy to see you here! Hope this will give you something!

Friday, August 28, 2009

(Almost) burglars!


I had a phone call from my late brother's neighbor. She told me there have been (almost) burglars in my late brother's garden. They have damaged some of the out door, thrown things behind the house, and earlier in the summer i nticed some things kept in the garden had been stolen. I made a police affair of this, made the declaration - I have to, because the issue with my brother's bank and insurance company has not been finished yet. I knew it would start to happen but it feels disgusting nevertheless. I live 500 km apart from there, cannot do much else. Anyway I am happy the neighbor connected!

Flare days

Severe, difficult, extremely painful flare days, one after another. This morning it feels that the pain killers together with a weak dose of Lyrica ease the pain to some extend but not completely. On the other hand, I did not try to get dressed before 10 am., and I am doing no exercising either. I'd need excercising for diabetes and weight loss but life is eternal balancing. These days excercising just makes me feel so much worse that I cannot believe I profit anything from it. There was a time when I went through very thorough and heavy exams all over my body and functions due to severe blood cell production problem. No fault was found, no cancer, nothing. My doctor's opinion was that the pains I felt messed up everything. It all normalized when I could use Lyrica and it helped to eliminate, or ease, the pain (because it was not completely away all the time). Now the pain is back and I am afraid it will all start all over again. I cannot use the maximum dose of Lyrica anymore because it makes asthma get much worse. When I have halved the dose now it probably helps, I don't know - anyway the feelings of pain that are left are enough to make me call it severe, burning, rough, desperate, whatever. I tolerate it because I have no alternative. Otherwise I'd call it unbearable.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Fibro Flare

Unable to write a proper post although there'd be so much to write about. I am really seriously in pain and nothing helps. This is probably the worst flare I have been having for ages. I cannot do a simple thing, and I hurt incredibly much all over. Why must Lyrica make asthma symptoms worse so that I cannot use it? So far nothing else has helped so much (or at all). Twitter seems to have severe security problem (?) - blah.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

First World Humanitarian Day celebrated

http://terrance.who.int/mediacentre/podcasts/WHO_podcast_075.mp3

Allergy

Today I finished decluttering and cleaning the porch. It looks really decent now. Then I put all the basilicum that I had been growing into the dryer and in 1,5 hours they were crispy dry. Now I have one year's supply of basilicum. Thanks Gos it is in the jar and the lid is on. Because handling them made me sneeze and it made my eyes burn - it is really hot stuff. Took antihistamine and feel a bit feverish, I feel like not wanting to meet anyone, only those very-dear-to-me people. I feel tired - this is a really bad allergic reaction. All I want is go to bed with a book - if I can read, that is. My eyes are burning thoough I have applied eye drops.

Anyway it felt good drying them, and all that working with hands, doing something which will be there over the winter to use and to remind of summer.

Car service tomorrow.

No need for pain killers today. Back feels weak, had to rest it once in a while when cleaning.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Happy photos





Today I was clening the entrance of the house. It had loads of electric garbage which had to be taken out and away and my DH took care of that part so it is now relatively empty. I then also found some items that we had brought back from my brother's house after the fire which killed him. He had no family so it fell pretty much on us to take care of everything after the accident and to be honest, I have even today posted some formulas that the insurance company wants to have in order to be able to decide on the matter. Anyway, I found some of his photos that had survived the damage. I have been watching them this evening and uploading them to my laptop,and internet folder. I feel happy when watching them because what is so obvious there is that everyone is happy and feels well. I look at myself with my son, I am wearing an apron and feeding him, and I smile - my brother took that photo. I see another one where he is holding my son, I took that photo - he looks happy too. In one picture we are having breakfast and laughing from the bottom of our hearts - my brother took that photo. I miss him, but it feels good we have had happy moments with each other.

Being able to do cleaning work is something HUGE when compared to how I have been feeling the past days... weeks... months.... wooow.... it was not easy and I had to take breaks but it was really amazing... I even used the vacuum cleaner for a long time, and it was a heavy surface to be vacuumed, not to mention that it was dirty... I can breathe... I can accomplish things.... amazing! Those photos that I found, and all this activity - I feel so happy tonight!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Ken vaivojansa vaikertaa...

"Ken vaivojansa vaikertaa
on vaivojensa vanki:"
"Ei oikeutta maassa saa
ken itse sit' ei hanki."
J.L.Runeberg

I have postcrossing as a hobby (www.postcrossing.com) (my user name is Fennougri). I upload all the postcards I receive on Postcrossing web page. However sometimes I receive more postcards than just the one to be registered. Lately, I received a card from a graphic designer in Amsterdam. Marilyn Grando. She had included a card which she had designed herself, as a souvenir from Finland. I upload it here since in Postcrossing, it is only possible to upload one card per sender.

Raining

It is the second day with reduced Lyrica. It is raining. That is a bad combination because both reducing Lyrica and raining add on the pain that I feel. What is more, it is so dark that it is probably going to rain the entire day.

I have slept badly, waking up every hour. That is still something to make me even more achy.

Morning was a bit uncomfortable so that when I woke up at 7 (my daughter needs her first insulin of the day at that time) and took my medication - added with Paracetamol to help in the pain (useless, I know it from before!) - usually the most wonderful thing to do that I know about is to creep back in between the sheets and wait that meds do their work. Now however asthma symptoms are worst in the morning too so although they are not as bad as they have been, they are not completely away either, and that made me feel really uncomfortable. I had to get out of bed and so here I am, making my life's complaint. With too long sentences, I know. This morning I just can't think short. I am also mistyping, so it seems.

Writing seems to feel weary too.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Social media and fibromyalgia

Someone - and now I don't remember anymore who it was but that is how it is with me, I have fibro and it often makes me forget things, so often that I feel sad of the gray mass loss that is taking place in my head, and so much that it makes me horrified: how am I gooing to keep my job, my friends, my whatever when my head is like that - soooo.... well... someone wrote about social media and fibromyalgia recently. It was very comforting for me who use social media and sometimes use it more than "real" contacts to friends - or, even to family. But like that someone said, and it made me feel really relieved - social media is easier for you than the "real" contacts because:
*you don't have to dress up, do your hair, do your face - all things that are impossible for us to do many times
*you can access it any time, or, you don't necessarily have to access if you don't feel like it - you don't have to cancel anything like you would have to if you had made an appointment with someone in the "real" world.
*there is more often than not someone anyway to give you support when you need it - even in the middle of the night when you can't sleep
*it gives you the possibility to express what is in your mind, and others can comment if they feel so, and you can do the same - no forced discussions
*it is as near as the nearest Internet connection, which is often at our desk - you don't have to struggle to get out of the house, in your car, and somewhere

So thank you Someone - you made me feel relieved about using social media. It really CAN be essential to me.

Breathing

I have been living serious times, health-wise. Like some of you know, I am a multi-conditioned one, having more than one life companions (I mean chronic diseases). I am all the time balancing between them. The one that has become a major cause of trouble and a cause of increasing worry has for the last months been asthma, steadily getting worse all the time. These last weeks I have been in a state where I have not known if I will wake up the next morning anymore or not. Several times I have been woken up from a state where I have not been breathing anymore. It has been frightening. I have not been able to climb up stairs without an asthma attack. I have not been able to do practically anything without an asthma attack. And the past few weeks, I have had an ever-increasing feeling thet the attack medication is not biting any more.

I found out Lyrica, which I have successfully taken for another chronic life companion, fibromyalgia, can cause broblems in breathing, and can actually seriously worsen asthma symptoms. Not for everyone, but for some. - If you don't know fibromyalgia, it is a nasty but not life-threatening disease which among other things keeps your muscles stiff, causing you sometimes even unable to move, and still worse, it keeps you in constant, serious, all-over pain. Lyrica helped me, like it helped many others. It did ruin my diet and cause a colossal weight gain but I thought it still did more help than damage. Many others have also been complaining of colossal weight gain when starting to take Lyrica.

There was a time, a few weeks back, when I was taking steroids - yet another time! - for asthma symptoms that had gone really bad. I was getting more and more - and more - swollen, and counghing my lugns out. I felt that steroids would soon kill me in that swollenness, that I would suffocate of it if then asthma would not make the same before that. I stopped taking steroids and started to feel a bit better but something was still seriously wrong. I could not walk, even slowly, and talk at the same time, for instance.

Then yesterday evening I had had enough of it all and I took only 150 mg Lyrica, instead of the full 300 mg dose. I did not sleep very well. This morning I took another 150 mg, instead of 300mg. And you guess it - I can breathe. I can climb stairs and I do cough but I dont get an asthma attack. I would not consider climbing up and down the stairs yet but perhaps I will do that too.

I have a devilish head-ache, my feet are burning and I have a tingling pain in every joint. After a major shock caused by my daughter who had a lamp fall on her and got her hands bleeding and then we had to treat her shock and pain first and the scars then - my legs deceived me and I had to drink sugar for shock symptoms myself, and go to bed. But otherwise the day has been a wonderful one because I have been able to breathe again.

All is well as long as you can take breathing for granted. I have not been able to do so for a very long time. I cannot tell how good it feels to be able to inhale and outhale without problems!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Männyn tuholainen _ Damage in the mountain pines





I noticed some damage in the garden done to my mountain pine trees when I was cutting them. It took me some time to find out what the beast was that was causing the damage but I found it. No idea what it is called in English but I add the following information for myself. Information is from sources, photos are mine.

Kirjokudospistiäinen (Acantholyda hieroglyphica) munii männyn taimiin alkukesällä. Myös pihtakuusilla on oma kudospistiäinen.

Tuntomerkit. Kirjokudospistiäinen muistuttaa pientä ampiaista. Toukat elävät kudospussissa.

Vioitus. Toukat syövät neulasia. Paljastuneeseen kohtaan jää tyhjä kudospussi, jossa on papanamaisia ulostepalloja. Vioitus ei ole yleensä vakava.

Torjunta.Jos pistiäisiä on paljon, männyt ja vuorimännyt kannattaa ruiskuttaa malationilla.

Lähde: Source: http://www.viherpiha.fi/annen-allakka/tunnista-kirvat-kempit-ja-kumppanit-koristepuut-ja-pensaat



Europe - Baikal, Transcaucasus. See [About maps]

Lähde _ Source: http://www.funet.fi/pub/sci/bio/life/insecta/hymenoptera/symphyta/megalodontoidea/pamphilidae/cephalciinae/acantholyda/index.html#hieroglyphica

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Home town magazine done

I just mailed the "Letter from the Editor" to the book printer who will print the home town magazine. I am happy with it, quite satisfied. It felt easy to write. We mafe the magazine with "Music" as the theme, and I wrote about silence, and listening. I wrote that often in life, the most beautiful and the biggest and the most right is not the one who shouts loudest. It is 11:20 p.m, far too late, so I must hurry to sleep now!

Holiday! Holiday??????

I have been on holiday this week, after working 6 days last week - long days. And really hard working weeks before that. Instantly as my holidays started, I got Problems with big P poured on my neck from work, and it has not stopped ever since, it seems to got more and more problems all the time. Now I wonder if this is any kind of a human holiday... I try to understand my secretary who is doing all this and I try to be supportive and all that but now I just started to feel that I am exploited and that I must do something to protect myself and to prohibit this person from ruining my sanity AND my holiday. I switched off my work phone (go me!!!!) and I ahve not opened my work mail (yeah!!!). I KNOW that there are problems I have to face when I go back to work but they are not caused by me so perhaps I can sort them out.

Now I should still do something to home town magazine but that is something I really ought to do and it is not making me feel stressy.

We have been to see my mother which is lovely. Mother is sometimes mean and .... I don't know. It is a bit depressing but I don't think she means it so. She often makes comments which are not really encouraging. But she seems to get along very well with our son which is nice, he needs all positive relationships with other people which he can get so....

Tomorrow we will drive to Savonlinna. It feels wonderful to be on the road again. We have been to an amusement park (Tykkimäki ion Kouvola) and on a beach which belonged to my childhood, still exists and is very good: Pitkäthiekat in Hamina. And on mother's and our errands of course.

I have been achy and sore most days, and now I also feel a bit depressed and discouraged but I hope it will go by. I think it is normal, there has been so much of everything now. ANd it somehow also happens nearly every time when the holiday starts.

I am happy to be with family and happy to explore this part of Finland which is dear to me.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Holiday!

I am on holiday, la~
The home town festival is over for me, and everything went reasonably well. Heard two just excellent barocque concerts, I feel so happy of them. It feels I got addicted again...